Zoology
by toonfreak
Summary: While visiting Earth, Blue Diamond comes across a strange new creature...a smelly, barking animal. She takes pity on the beast, and decides to take it back to Homeworld with her! ...what could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

She returned to the planet frequently.

The guilt she felt was unbearable. That stupid war...that damn war had brought with it her sister's demise. She had a new sense of empathy, a rare trait for a Diamond.

Blue was struggling...horrendously. She was having difficulty doing anything productive.

She would disappear from her court for months at a time.

She would weep for years.

Sometimes her thoughts would wander into strange and dangerous places. The guilt was horrendous-the thoughts were worse. Was it her fault that her sister had perished? Yes, It must have been. She had seen the Rose Quartz that had done the deed in her court at one point...and had failed to stop her.

The only thing that kept her sane was preserving her sister's legacy: saving the human zoo, and the Rose Quartz gemstones Pink had created.

Over time, she began to see why her sister enjoyed collecting the small creatures so much. The humans in the zoo seemed friendly enough, but it was much more fascinating to see how much the animals would evolve every time she visited her sister's planet.

They had advanced themselves...all on their own.

They had created ways to survive without any assistance.

They invented their own structures and transportation.

Perhaps, in a different timeline, the wild beings of Earth would have been an interesting topic of further research.

Once in a while, a new human would be brave enough to approach the Gem and flatter her, or make her feel a bit better about the horrendous depression she was experiencing. They would sympathize with her sorrow.

She would always reward them by saving them from the planet's ultimate demise. She would save anyone who could empathize and display kindness.

This time...was different though.

* * *

Her Pearl was unsure how to react to the approaching creature.

It was not a native...not in the traditional sense anyway.

It stood on four legs like some sort of corrupted beast. The animal smelled bad- REALLY bad. It was covered in patches of Earth and clod. The thing was panting heavily, fatigued perhaps.

"What is it my Pearl?"

The servant bowed. "I am unsure my Diamond. It is not a native that has disrupted you."

Both Gems were surprised as the animal emerged from the brush. It was in a sad state. It's ribs were clearly visible. The odd thing whined in desperation. It's tail wagged weakly.

Blue Diamond was shocked at the creature's pathetic attempts to stay standing. She inquired to her servant: "Is...is it one of ours?"

The Pearl checked her internal data. "No. It has no Gemstone. It is not corrupted. It is organic."

"Stars..." the leader had never seen such a sad beast. It looked like it was on the cusp of poofing. The fact that anything could survive while looking like that...

The animal approached the massive Diamond, and whined again in desperation. Blue Pearl attempted to shoo the disgusting thing away, but her leader quickly signaled that the servant should allow the odd creature to approach.

The Pearl bowed in response, and the animal wobbled forward.

It's fur was matted and dirty. One of its vision spheres had swollen- as if hit by some sort of blunt object. There was something around its neck...a collar? No...a rope. It had been tied too tightly and was digging into the creature's flesh.

The animal whimpered again. It approached the massive leader and leaned on her side for comfort. Surprised by this, the Diamond felt the familiar sting of empathy.

Blue Pearl knew that look all too well, and sighed internally. Her leader was going to take this retched, filthy thing to the zoo...even though the duo had no clue what it was.

The Diamond began to speak with the creature that could not: "You have obviously been mistreated. I can see that you are alone...much like myself." The Diamond (as gently as a Diamond could) picked up the smelly beast.

The Golden Retriever barked in surprise!

Blue continued: "I shall take you to a safe place- and assist you."

The dog closed its eyes...completely exhausted.

* * *

 _ **I felt like writing something different! Wrote this in about two hours...it will be interesting to see where it goes...**_


	2. Chapter 2

Upon arrival to the Human Zoo, no one really knew what to make of the malnourished blob of hair.

Holly Blue approached her clarity first (of course). "Oh! My luxurious Diamond! Welcome back! How may I assist you today?"

When the Diamond lowered and opened her palm, Holly Blue reared back in disgust! "STARS! What IS that?! It looks...decomposed..."

Blue Diamond immediately gave the Agate a stare of daggers. Holly straightened herself out quickly. "I do apologize my clarity. I have never seen such a...erm...UNIQUE specimen from Earth. What kind of a human is it?"

"I am unsure myself." The massive leader answered. "...but I need your best specialists to nurse it back to health. I will not be leaving the zoo until the process is complete. I require regular reports."

"As you wish, my Diamond." The Agate saluted before going over to the zoo's intercom, and ordering two Peridots and an Amethyst to take the odd thing into the sick bay.

* * *

The Peridots were baffled. Being Kindergarteners, it was their job to keep all beings happy and healthy- in this case, humans as well.

They figured, despite the odd appearance, they should treat this human like any other they had nursed back to health. The aliens scanned the puppy, and found several things wrong with the "human" right off the cuff.

The rope did not belong on its neck, and was cutting off circulation.

So they started there first...

Using their limb enhancers, the duo began to examine the most efficient way to get the rope off.

One of the fingers transformed into a pair of scissors...another turned into a miniature buzz saw.

The puppy immediately began to squirm with discomfort- whimpering in fear at the new objects.

The Amethyst (whom was standing to the side), attempted to calm the creature-but to no avail.

A special gas had to be used to put the "human" to sleep.

* * *

After much struggling, the rope was finally cut loose- exposing a large wound around the neck. The wound was sanitized before the aliens moved to the inflamed vision sphere.

This would be easier to fix.

One of the Peridots injected a substance into the animal that eased the swelling.

The creature was then thoroughly bathed (which changed the hair from a muddy brown to a yellow), and was given a sack of fluids.

The Gems placed the "human" on the bed in the quarantine room- and included some fruit on a plate so that the creature could eat once it woke up again...

* * *

As the days went on, the odd human showed signs of improvement.

The animal ate more frequently.

The wound on it's neck was healing.

It could see out of both eyes again!

Eventually, the creature looked good as new- a bounding ball of yellow hair constantly ready for attention!

...

...the Peridots decided to finally transfer the "human" once it began to tear apart the bed in the quarantine room with it's mouth.

* * *

The humans looked toward their lake excitedly! They could see bubbles from down below. A new friend was approaching!

As the Golden Retriever puppy breached the surface of the lake- the enthusiasm soon turned to fright.

The dog bounded toward the crowd, and gave chase- resulting in the humans scurrying away from the beast, and climbing the terrarium's trees for safety. Though years of captivity, none of them could identify the strange animal.

Blue Diamond (who had been invited to the event) was most unpleased at this reaction. Her brow furrowed as the dog panted and attempted to find a friend. The creature's head dropped in sorrow when he could find no companionship.

"This will not do." Blue Diamond was furious. "Why do they not accept the new human as one of their own?!"

"I am unsure my clarity. They seem afraid of the...specimen. Maybe it looks too different from the rest?"

"That's inexcusable! It has been proven that humans require social interaction in order to thrive! The creature will become malnourished again if no one provides the attention they need!"

"-but, my clarity...we don't have any other humans that look like that. That's the only one of the breed in captivity..." Holly Blue did not want to be responsible if the disgusting thing caved in and killed over.

"Than I will take care of it myself! Stars! You could have offered Agate, but it is clear that you don't give a shale about the poor thing!" As the Diamond angrily looked down at Holly, the smaller Gem cowered in fear. She had never heard one of her leaders use such foul language before- especially directed toward HER. It was clear she had screwed up- big time.

* * *

The door to the enclosure opened.

The puppy smelled someone familiar and quickly bounded toward the exit!

To the relief of all the humans, the monster was now gone. The remaining residents of the terrarium began to climb down from the trees.

Blue Pearl (whom had opened the door), was most displeased when the strange creature ran toward her, and began to jump up and down excitedly. The entire scenario was threatening to ruin her outfit, and covering her in saliva and dog smell.

The Pearl frowned even more so as the creature displayed the same behavior toward her Diamond. Such disrespect!

The Diamond, however, let the horrendous behavior slide. She smiled. It seemed that just the action of making someone else happy seemed to give her joy.

* * *

An Amethyst approached with a massive case filled with human supplies. She had been requested by the Diamond in order to care for the unique creature while staying with the monarch. Upon inspection of the beast, the purple Gem seemed surprised. "My Diamond!" The Gem gasped. "Forgive me for my enthusiasm, but I do believe you have discovered a new species of human! I've never seen one that walks on four legs before!" The Gem saluted in respect, but also seemed rather impressed at the find. "I guess since YOU discovered it, you get naming rights my Diamond! What are you going to call it?"

The leader thought for a second before deciding on the perfect name:

"Joy" she replied.


	3. Chapter 3

Upon arriving back to Homeworld, it seemed that the new "human" had gotten quite attached to the three main Gems on board.

The Amethyst was determined to train the thing as best she could. For some odd reason, her internal programming was having the most difficult time translating the new species' language.

* * *

Blue Pearl secretly found the animal most annoying (although she would never say such a thing to her Diamond). The servant often found herself cleaning up after Joy's messes.

He was smelly...

...and excreted body fluids constantly.

The creature would lick hands when he was happy- throw up when he ate the dozens of things he shouldn't- and do something much more unpleasant when he did eat successfully.

The Pearl hated to admit it, but she was also becoming quite jealous of the rancid thing.

Blue Diamond used to love to see her servant's song and dance...

...NOW all she wanted to do was to play with this- whatever it was.

The servant had never felt so free, yet neglected all at once. She could say something completely offensive if she wanted to, and the Diamond wouldn't even glance in her direction.

The Blue Pearl decided to use her free time to work on improving her art for court sketches. It helped focus her mind on something productive.

* * *

Blue Diamond, on the other hand, was having a ball! This simplistic critter was creating more happiness than she had experienced in YEARS!

Most of the time, Joy seemed slightly idiotic and confused, but once in a while he would display great personality and intellectual feats!

The creature seemed so enthusiastic when Blue Diamond pet him with one of her massive fingers. The dog would bark at any intruders and surprise the bajeezus out of any Gem that entered her chambers! Oh! What fun!

The animal was especially entertaining to watch whenever discovering something new. Joy barked at his evil twin when discovering a mirror. Asteroid storms seemed to spook the poor thing, and he would frequently run for cover under the Diamond's robe in a fright.

He also enjoyed playing tug-of-war with the robe as well. The Amethyst was attempting to dissuade this behavior as quickly as possible- to avoid any accidents of the leader tripping and falling on top of her subjects. The habit didn't seem to bother the Diamond at all, however. The monarch was making training increasingly difficult- she was very lenient with the human treats, and would pass them out like candy.

* * *

Finally, the moment arrived where the ship landed on Homeworld. Feeling much more enthusiastic than she had in AGES, Blue Diamond felt ready to resume her deuties...with her new friend by her side!

As the massive palanquin crawled down the street, Joy couldn't seem to help himself. He kept sticking his doggie face out from behind the curtain of the thing, a panting happiness on his mug.

Both the Pearl and Amethyst were slightly concerned about the taboo, but the surrounding crowd seemed more curious and confused than anything.

* * *

Upon arrival to her chambers, Blue Diamond decided to make an immediate announcement over Homeworld's screens.

The citizens looked at their digital communicators as the broadcast was announced.

The screen featured the leader looking quite regal and well rested. Blue Diamond began:

"Hello my Gems! It feels wonderful to be back home!"

A small distant cheering was heard in the background of the announcement, as the citizens agreed.

The monarch continued: "Some of you may have noticed a new face on my palanquin today..." the leader held up the panting dog in her palm: "this is Joy, a rare human from Earth. I expect you to treat him as you treat me- with adoration and respect-"

A murmur of confusion could be heard at this. A human? A Earth creature? How did that thing end up with a Diamond? Why did she have it in her person?

The leader continued: "-especially because he is a very good boy! Yes he is! Yes he is!" There was a sicking silence as the supposed "intimidating" leader began to coo the ugly, rugged thing.

".:COUGH!:. Anyway...I have decided to alert you all of this development so that some new rules will be put in place. Number one: no one shall harm or roughhouse with Joy- unless they wish for their gemstone to be shattered! Second, I declare the Human Zoo new funding for a specialized branch to be built immediately- suited for Joy's every need. Until this branch is complete, Joy will stay here, by my side. That is all."

...and with that, the announcement was complete, and the broadcast ended.

* * *

 ** _Holy cow! Thanks to everyone for all of the support! I was NOT expecting this silly story to gain so much attention so quickly... (laughs). I literally wrote these first three chapters in a day, and just rolled with it. I did a similar technique when writing the fic "Pillar". Thanks for the massive amount of reviews! All of your comments are a wonderful motivation!_**


	4. Chapter 4

After the massive Diamond ended her announcement, she turned around, and was surprised to see both her Pearl and the Amethyst looking quite pale.

The Amethyst decided to speak up first: "M-my Diamond...while I am flattered that you have decided to donate so much money into our wonderful zoo, I do not think it wise to allow "Joy" to roam the hallways of Homeworld unsupervised. He is not fully trained yet, and doesn't listen to orders very well..."

"Of COURSE that would be unwise!" The leader barked. "That is why I want you two to be his personal guardians as he roams. He may do as he pleases- as do I."

"...but-but..." the Amethyst was shocked at this development. It was clear that the monarch had become way too attached to the creature. She was spoiling it. The purple Gem continued: "Can we at least use a leash...or a tether?"

"You will do no such thing! His neck is very sensitive from that rope that was plastered to him when I found him! He deserves to be happy!"

The Amethyst looked quite defeated. What on Homeworld had she gotten herself into?!

* * *

Joy was quite content for the first few days in Blue Diamond's chambers.

The dog wondered around the room with curiosity. Blue Pearl watched helplessly, as the horrific animal completely ruined the tapestry of the place.

He tore massively expensive drapes from the windows, and seemed to take much pleasure in ripping apart the gargantuan custom-made pillow that her clarity used to rest upon.

Blue Diamond thought the behavior was simply adorable and knew for a fact that she could order another giant pillow easily. No harm done! Let the "human" have some fun and freedom for once!

To any Gem that had appointments with the monarch, they were often met with mess and mayhem upon entering the chambers.

The day Joy decided to wander outside- he stood at the Diamond's massive door and whimpered with plea in hopes someone would open it. The leader immediately called upon the Amethyst and her Pearl to assist the "human" on his roundabouts.

When the purple Gem arrived, the sight was grotesque. There was fluff from the pillow scattered about the entire chamber. Much more sunlight was present as the massive curtains had been tugged to the floor. The place also smelled rancid- it was obvious that the leader just let the animal do as he wanted.

"Oh good! You're here!" Blue Diamond seemed pleased with the Amethyst's promptness. "Joy wishes to explore! You shall escort him, but nothing else. Let him wander and see the beauty of our world for himself! Pearl-" the monarch turned to her servant, "-take lots of pictures with your holographic memory! I don't want to miss anything!"

The duo groaned. This was going to be a long day.

"Now, I must get back to my deuties...have lots of fun you three! I expect a full report upon your return!"

The leader seemed uncharacteristically gitty, and (secretly) wished to join the trio. She really was disappointed that she had so many important things to attend to...

Blue Pearl was beside herself with angst. She knew this was going to be an unpleasant experience, but obeyed- and unlocked the massive door as instructed...

* * *

The first thing Joy did upon realizing the door was open was bound down the hallway with a new found excitement!

...the second thing he did was lift his leg and relieve himself on some important Gem machinery...which resulted in short-circuiting all the lights in one of Homeworld's nearby cities.

From that point on, the journey just became more chaotic.

Every Gem that the dog met was greeted with his regular enthusiasm... and each citizen had to take any abuse the animal could dish out.

A Peridot was secretly thankful that her limb enhancers were made from powerful metals as she witnessed the massive beast teething on one of her shoes. She was quite late for her meeting, but was fearful of moving until the "human" was done with its tomfoolery.

A Zircon was quite surprised when the animal jumped up, and snatched her scarf with his teeth. Joy proceeded to rip the thing to smithereens, and shook the new toy aggressively until he lost interest.

As the Amethyst and Blue Pearl ran to keep up with the beast, Joy barreled into a platoon of Rubies. Because the dog was (roughly) the same size or bigger than most of them, Joy took the opportunity to greet every single one of the small red Gems accordingly. Faces were licked, screaming of both happiness and panic could be heard- the entire scenario ended with the massive puppy asleep in exhaustion. He ended up utilizing the entire platoon as a heating pad, and would give off warning growls if one of the soldiers attempted to sneak away.

The entire time, all the Blue Pearl and Amethyst could do was apologize profusely for the "human's" reckless behavior. It's not like the corresponding attacked Gems could do much about the entire fiasco either...

* * *

The Amethyst decided to carry the sleeping puppy back to Blue Diamond's chambers once he wore himself out.

The leader giggled slightly with amusement when her Pearl showed her the chaotic footage from the day. It seemed the leader had found a new way to amuse herself- by making everyone else's lives a living Hell at the expense of a single animal's joy.

Blue Diamond looked over to her sleeping friend with affection. "Oh Joy...you are such a little troublemaker..." she pet the Golden Retriever with her finger as the Amethyst and Blue Pearl nearly collapsed from exhaustion.


	5. Chapter 5

As the days went on, the mayhem and destruction became more and more evident.

It seemed that everyone was desperate for a solution to the "Joy Problem", but no one was brave enough to bring up the issue...especially when a Diamond was involved.

Still...something had to be done...and fast...

* * *

S.O.S.

There it was again..."S.O.S"

Yellow Pearl was thoroughly confused. There were S.O.S. signs coming from all over Homeworld.

Some were being sent anonymously by Gems, others were being sent digitally by machinery. As much as she didn't want to alert her Diamond, she knew ignoring the problem would result in punishment.

"M-my Diamond?" The Pearl coward in fear, as her leader glared at her. "Erm...there seems to be...distress signals coming...from our home planet?"

Yellow Diamond's eyes narrowed. "What KIND of distress signals?"

"Well...they seem to be very...vague. Some are just standard S.O.S...but others are coming from electronic machines- water damage, snapped wires...things like that."

"What sector are they being sent from?"

"Mostly Blue Diamond's courts..."

"Connect the Diamond Line IMMEDIATELY."

"Yes my Diamond." Yellow Pearl squeaked, before connecting the communication device.

The Diamond settled into her chair, expecting a report from her sister about some sort of minor malfunction.

...

...what she got instead was a rare (and slightly jarring) sight she hadn't witnessed in eons.

Blue Diamond was SMILING...she was SMILING. The look was so foreign to Yellow, that it came across as incredibly creepy.

The second thing the leader noticed, was that Blue's chamber was a mess. It appeared that some sort of explosive had been detonated.

"Blue! Are you quite alright?! I've been receiving S.O.S. signals in mass...my STARS! What happened to your room?!"

"Oh!" Blue Diamond seemed surprised. "Yellow! I'm completely fine! My chambers can be fixed easily. I completely forgot to introduce you! Yellow-" Blue lifted her palm to the camera, revealing a panting Golden Retriever laying on top of it "-this is the newest member of my court, JOY!"

For a split second, Yellow Diamond thought this might be an odd prank.

When Blue waited for a response, Yellow lifted the edge of her lip in disgust. "What...is...THAT?!"

Slightly taken aback, Blue answered: "It's Joy! He's a rare human from Earth!"

"...and WHAT may I ask, is that...THING doing in your chambers?"

Blue Diamond fidgeted for a few seconds before answering: "He...doesn't have a place in the zoo yet. Joy is under my care until my Bismuths complete the building's extension."

"...and WHOM may I ask, provided this rare new specimen?"

Blue Diamond suddenly looked quite guilty. She didn't need to say anything...her face revealed the answer.

Yellow placed her head in her palm, clearly stressed. "Oh Blue...you were visiting that ticking time bomb of a rock again...weren't you?"

"Visiting it...gives me peace."

"...and WHAT may I ask, would we do if the Earth exploded while YOU were on it?! I've already lost one sister Blue! I can't even imagine loosing another one to that fracking rock! You KNOW this Blue! It's too dangerous!"

"...but Joy needed my help...he was close to shattering!"

"What about you?! YOU being shattered?! STARS! Be a LITTLE selfish Blue! If not for me, than for your citizens!"

"Why can't you just let me be happy for ONCE?!"

Yellow Diamond was immediately grateful that she was talking to her sister from an off-planet ship.

Blue Diamond began to weep heavily, and her Pearl in the backdrop could be seen crying as well.

Yellow decided to end the conversation quickly. Her sister was becoming hysterical. "I can't speak to you when you're like this Blue...you know that. This matter is through. Do NOT return to that planet under any circumstance. I will help as I can to speed up the process to house that...THING, and get it out of your hair. Do have your Gems fix the faulty machinery and furniture around your quarters-standards must be kept up."

Yellow hung up the call before Blue could rebuttal. She then immediately ordered all her Bismuths to the Zoo to complete the extra construction as soon as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

The day the Zoo's extension was complete, was bitter-sweet. All the Gems in the area were quite relieved and pleased...

...at least, they SHOULD be...

There was not one Gem within a 200 mile radius that wasn't in complete tears.

It was obvious that their leader was NOT happy with giving up her pet.

Though her weeping, the loyal Amethyst assured Blue Diamond that all the Zookeepers would take excellent care of Joy, and make sure that he was played with and given lots of treats. This statement was followed by the purple Gem lifting the confused dog into her arms.

Blue immediately began to bawl even harder as she handed off several of Joy's favorite playthings to the other Gems loading the ship.

The Amethyst confirmed that the leader could visit Joy at anytime to play with him, before retreating into the ship quickly. The emotional manipulation her Diamond was projecting was becoming too heavy for the purple Gem to bare.

* * *

As the ship flew into the distance, and disappeared, the Diamond screamed to the heavens:

"MY JOY...IS GONE!"

...and at that moment the double meaning of the statement was quite literal.

* * *

Hours passed.

Days passed.

Weeks passed.

Months passed.

The situation was even more unbearable than before. Instead of one annoying dog bothering specific Gems at any point of time, there was now a massive ray of depression covering the entire city.

Everyone wept. All work had ceased. No one could see through their own vision spheres. No ships came or left the area (it was too unsafe to drive when no one could physically see anything).

Resources dwindled.

No paperwork was filled.

Yellow Diamond decided to call again after hearing nothing for such a lengthy amount of time.

As the screens connected, the massive Yellow Gem could see the problem immediately. Her sister was beside herself with grief. She hadn't seen her this upset for this long since losing Pink...and this creature had not even shattered yet! Yellow Diamond rolled her eyes, and simply hung up the call without saying anything.

* * *

The Topaz' job was simple- find a strange, new, exotic "human" to replace the one Blue Diamond was forced to donate to the Zoo. An animal that would (hopefully) be much lower maintenance.

That was Yellow Diamond's instruction.

As the massive fusion wandered the planet on the brink of explosion, she slowly observed the behavior of various wildlife in hopes to find a suitable replacement.

Her answer came in the most unlikely of places- a massive abandoned box.

* * *

Teary-eyed, Yellow Diamond's best Topez entered Blue Diamond's chambers.

"M-my Diamond..." the Topez wept as she made a Diamond salute. "I come bringing a mighty gift from my clarity."

"What could Yellow possibly send me that would cheer me up?! This entire situation is partially HER fault in the first place!" Blue wailed.

"I believe you will enjoy this present my Diamond...please just give it a chance..."

The Topaz unfused.

Blue Diamond gasped in surprise!

In the yellow Gem's arms were three tiny abandoned kittens...


	7. Chapter 7

These were a new breed of human the Diamond had (once again) never seen before! Her sister must have commanded this Topaz to visit the "dangerous planet" and retrieve them before its demise.

While this act of kindness did not make Blue miss her wonderful Joy any less, she couldn't help but feel flattered by her sister's kind gesture.

The three animals were so much smaller than Joy too! Stars! Her clarity was concerned she might lose or step on them!

As the Topaz put the creatures down, the trio began to wander with a new found curiosity. They wattled rather awkwardly- as if their balance was not quite calibrated correctly.

Blue Diamond's heart melted as the trio made the most adorable squeaking sound. The cats mewed as they searched for milk.

"Yellow requested to give you naming rights for this breed." The Topez interrupted Blue diamond's train of thought. "What shall they be called my Diamond?"

The monarch thought for a few minutes, and watched the creatures closely- attempting to come up with a decent name...

"Hope. They will be called as such because they have renewed my own." She decided.

* * *

Fortunately, all three "Hopes" had a different color- so "Brown", "Grey", and "Orange" became their more permanent namesakes.

While the trio immediately enjoyed sharpening their claws on the curtains, it was evident that they were much less destructive than Joy had been.

Orange rubbed against Blue Pearl's leg. The servant was going to rear in disgust, but soon found that the creature did not smell foul at all. The small kitten mewed, and patted it's front paw on the Pearl's shoe in hopes of being picked up.

The Blue Pearl obeyed, and a smile spread over her face as the baby kitten snuggled into her armpit and fell asleep.

Blue Pearl looked up, and saw that her Diamond had witnessed the entire charade. While the leader smirked with amusement, the servant blushed in embarrassment.

* * *

Once the kittens began eating solid food, a new challenge presented itself. The "humans" had no interest in the fruit, and were constantly complaining of hunger.

It took the Peridots several tries to come up with a synthetic dish that the animals would eat. Apparently, this type of human had no interest in eating plant life, but preferred foods that were high in fat and protein.

Once a meal was prepared and taste tested successfully by the kittens, a new batch was created and wheeled into Blue Diamond's chambers on a daily basis.

Unlike Joy, the kittens were quite content living in Blue Diamond's room. They had absolutely no interest in wandering through the halls of Homeworld. Why bother? There was a massive sleeping pillow right here in the middle of the room...just for them!

Blue Diamond found herself standing much more frequently. The kittens would use their talons to climb the wall of the pillow, and had an interesting habit of sleeping in the direct center of it. The Diamond had attempted to sit on it's side one day, and the kittens mewed in distress as the leader's added weight made the three tumble toward her from the center.

Another massive pillow was made to avoid this situation- but this only resulted in the kittens spreading out. Two were asleep in the center of the first one, and Orange was asleep in the center of the second.

Two more massive pillows were made, and while the room was quite snug with fluff at this point, it seemed to fix the initial problem.

* * *

When the Diamond was busy with her duties, she instructed her Pearl to entertain the "humans".

...a chore Blue Pearl was all too happy to perform!

The servant had found that the animals absolutely loved chasing small inanimate objects that moved. Blue Pearl had a piece of ribbon stored in her gemstone that she would flail about to amuse the babies.

They would give chase, bat at it with their paws, and tumble on top of one another in a playful tussle...before wearing themselves out, and falling asleep again.

At one point, the Diamond came home to the most adorable of panoramas. Blue Pearl had fallen asleep on the floor-ribbon in hand. The three kittens were curled around the servant for warmth- also asleep. She kept a digital copy of the scene, and (to the embarrassment of the Pearl), had an artist commission the photograph into a mural for her chambers.

Blue Pearl blushed every time she glanced up at the massive mural hanging on the wall. "My Diamond?"

"Yes, my Pearl?"

"Is the mural really necessary? It makes me look...lazy..."

"Nonsense! You and the Hopes look absolutely adorable!" The Diamond smiled. "It's a rare moment of real life! Most Gems pose for portraits, but this piece displays a calm and gentle atmosphere!"

The Blue Pearl's brow furrowed in frustration. She made a low moaning sound, knowing every Gem that entered her master's chambers would see this god-awful piece of art. Nevertheless, she dropped the subject. There was really nothing she could do about it.

* * *

Indeed, the new "human pets" were much more popular among the masses than Joy had been. Lots of the citizens found amusement in watching the creatures play in the background of their dictator's announcements and videos.

* * *

Yellow Diamond was most pleased. The S.O.S. signals had stopped entirely. It was obvious that her gift had been a major success!

...little did she know the chaos that would unfold from her good intentions...


	8. Chapter 8

The trouble started on a random morning about two weeks later.

Yellow Diamond had requested an important meeting with a prestigious Agate.

Everything was going smoothly. Everything was going fine...

...until the Agate arrived.

As her Pearl opened the Diamond's chamber door, two speedy fur balls suddenly whisked inside of the massive room.

The Agate shrieked as the two pests zoomed by her feet. Yellow Diamond's glare contorted into such a furious expression, one would wonder if her brain was imploding.

A loud shout from a nearby hall could be heard: "GEAR! RHOMBUS! Get back here!"

A Peridot suddenly emerged, completely breathless. She gasped for air, and gave a pathetic excuse for a Diamond salute while attempting to explain herself: "I'm...sorry...my...Diamond...they...like...to...run...past...open...doors..."

Sheepishly, the Peridot quickly trotted inside of the room-uninvited- and nabbed the two cats that had dashed within.

The green Gem ran off in a huff.

"My WORD! What on Homeworld was THAT?!" The Agate was appalled.

"A...PROBLEM." Yellow Diamond gritted her teeth in a heated rage.

* * *

As it turns out, a good majority of Homeworld had fallen absolutely head over heals for Blue Diamond's new pets!

There was now a black market for the animals. Gems had been visiting the taboo planet and abducting cats for easy profit.

There were now hidden, but well known stores filled with cat food whose recipe had been leaked from the royal kitchen.

A lot of the citizens of Homeworld found that this particular breed of human was more simple to take care of. The Hopes didn't need constant watching, were not very loud, and slept most of the time.

Plus, it just felt nice to be loved and wanted by someone after the work day was through.

In short: there was Hope everywhere!

* * *

"BLUE!" Yellow Diamond had called in a rage after the meeting with the Agate. "Would you mind telling me why one of your filthy human creatures interrupted my meeting today?!"

"Isn't it wonderful?!" Blue was in a joyous daze. "Everyone loved your gift so much, that the entire planet has gotten involved with the human preservation!"

"NO! It is NOT wonderful! Everyone's Hopes are running rampid all over the place! Do these Gems even know how to take care of humans?!"

There was a pregnant pause, as Blue thought deeply about this. "I...am not sure..." the leader certainly didn't want anyone's Hope being mistreated...

"Precisely! If we are going to allow Gems to keep these things as companions, they should at least take a test, or have a license!"

As much as Blue Diamond hated to admit it, her sister was making a lot of sense. It would be better for both Gems and Humans alike if there was at least a test and background check...

* * *

Thusly, a standard license process was put into place. The harsh rules put an end to the illegal food processing at least...

...however...

...some rules are meant to be broken. You needed a license to own a HOPE, yes indeed!

Upon hearing this new rule, one of the smugglers recalled that she had seen many other species of "Humans" on the planet Earth...species very similar to the Hopes.

The Gem had an idea.

* * *

 _ **This chapter should be called: "how many dumb "Hope" puns can I fit into this thing?"**_

 _ **(laughs)**_

 _ **...anywhos...**_

 _ **Thank you everyone for your continued support and reviews on this particular piece! I guess people really like puppies and kitty cats! (Seriously though...reviews somehow make me work faster! This is...what? The 4th chapter in ONE day?! Pajeebus!)**_

 _ **Anyway: just a quick reminder! If anyone wants to ask me any questions about my stories (or writing in general), you can always visit my Tumblr (the username is: askthetoonfreak )**_

 _ **I also do artwork too (Both drawn stuff, and bead work!), that you can see on that page as well!**_

 _ **Thanks again guys!**_


	9. Chapter 9

A ship that had traveled from a far away place landed in a discreet back ally of Homeworld.

This cargo had to stay hidden for the time being. The whole ship was filled with loud, smelly things. The Aquamarines responsible didn't want any extra attention from spectators...

* * *

The first sign that anything was a bit off, was the morning Blue Diamond spotted a Sapphire with a ferret sleeping around her neck.

The leader stopped in the hall, and did a double take as the regal Gem shifted by.

As she looked back, the Sapphire was already facing her with expectancy- a Diamond salute prepared. She explained herself with a smile: "It is called a "Lengthy Hope" my clarity. They are small and long. The breed are more prone to biting than regular Hopes- but are soft all the same."

The Sapphire proceeded to bow, and excuse herself so that she could get to wherever she was going in a timely manner.

Confused and baffled by this, the Diamond scratched her head...wondering where such a thing had come from.

* * *

During a meeting that occurred later that morning, a Lapis appeared with an even stranger beast sitting on her shoulder. It was a miniature blue bird with a brilliant plume.

Upon inquiry, the Lapis was happy to tell the leader about her new exotic friend.

"The more traditional Humans call it a "Pair-of-keys"! It can fly, much like myself, and has a beautiful song!"

The Parakeet chirped as if agreeing.

* * *

The surprises continued throughout the day. Blue Diamond was both fascinated, and absolutely terrified at how this entire situation had escalated so badly.

There...there were just...so many...

A Rutile had come into possession of a baby piglet (more technically: a "Squealer" named Grunt).

An Emerald had bought a goat (or a "Hooved Human"), and named it "Emerald 3XR5B Jr. the Second Esquire"

Perhaps the most baffling of finds, however, was a Ruby that had somehow come into possession of a fully grown Rhino. The small red Gem explained while rubbing the creature's muzzle: "This is Thorn! He's tough- like me! He destroys stuff- like I do! Yeah! Thorn is awesome!" The Ruby patted the massive beast that was seven times her own size.

The rhino grunted in contempt.

* * *

Blue couldn't take it anymore! She excused herself, and apologized to anyone who had an appointment with her later that day. She canceled everything she had scheduled.

As the leader returned to her chambers, she seemed to be on the brink of a panic attack.

The Diamond began to hyperventilate, and attempted to compose herself before contacting her sister.

Yellow Diamond answered immediately. As the call connected, the Yellow monarch could be seen with a most unamused look on her face.

There was an odd tall, yellow, "human" in the background of the video- a giraffe.

Yellow Diamond sighed: "I suppose by now you know that this entire thing had gotten out of hand Blue..."

Blue Diamond wanted to agree, but could not stop staring at the massive giraffe in the background.

Yellow explained, slightly annoyed: "An anonymous gift from someone. They claimed it resembled me...can you imagine?!"

Blue chuckled slightly at this. The thing was, in fact, incredibly tall and very yellow.

"Blue...this has gone far enough. We- need to do something about this- YOU need to do something about this." Yellow Diamond was strict, but also regretful. She knew that Blue would have to give up the adorable gift of Hopes she had sent her, as a show of example.

* * *

The possession of any breed of human became illegal- no exceptions. The animals were rounded up and confiscated onto cargo ships. Every creature that had been abducted would be transferred to the Human Zoo, and kept in separate compartments until additional terrariums were completed by the Bismuths.

Blue Diamond was in tears again, as she handed over her three adorable kittens whom mewed in distress.

* * *

The days that followed were horrific for everyone. While Blue Diamond's ray of depression was lingering over the city again, everyone felt genuinely sad at the loss of all the animal friends they had grown so attached to.

Blue Pearl contemplated to herself. She missed all three Hopes dearly, and recalled her first adorable encounter with Orange. The mural on the wall now led to grief instead of embarrassment.

Within her own mourning, an idea was hatched!

The Blue Pearl suggested the thought to her clarity quickly before she forgot!

The ray of depression dissipated.

* * *

A service was made available on all communication devices. It was a complimentary upgrade at Blue Diamond's request.

All Gems that had previously owned an animal companion, could watch and communicate with their friend through a video feed in each and every newly created terrarium.

The Human Zoo was also receiving more donations and visitors than they had seen in several thousand years!

It was really a win-win for everyone.

Blue Diamond felt grateful toward her Pearl, as she watched Joy excitedly jump repeatedly at the massive screen in his terrarium. It was displaying live video footage of his original owner.

"Who's a good boy? You are! Yes you are!"

Blue Diamond smiled.

* * *

 _ **...and**_ ** _wit_ h that I hope you guys enjoyed Zoology! Thank you for all of the support, comments, favorites, kudos', and bookmarks!**

 _ **For anyone curious- YES. The "Pair-of-keys" quip is a reference to another fic of mine: "Aliens With Trapper Hats". The Ruby in the story often refers to small birds as "Pair-of-keys" through a miscommunication.**_

 _ **If you guys like stories about animals, I would suggest to take a look at: "Live and Let Lion" and "Cub Together". Both are Lion-centric stories you may enjoy!**_

 _ **Thanks again for everything!**_


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